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8/25/2012

Composition

I start my days early, partly by choice and partly out of necessity. I have been a migraineur for at least 35 yrs. I know from experience that I am not a person who can sleep in on the weekends. I have to stick to a schedule and rise at the same time or nearly the same time every morning to avoid getting these headaches which can then develop in to a migraine. My head is my own meteorologist in that I can tell it's going to rain or there will be a barometric shift before it happens because the pain in my head tells me so. For example, the last two days were very humid and partly cloudy. Bad for me. I had to take half of an imitrex to get through the work day. This morning I woke to rain. So far, I don't need to take anything because I already had dealt with the sudden shift in the weather last last two days. The other reason I get up early is because my dog, Buddy, has diabetes. Sometimes his blood sugar is out of whack and I like to avoid coming downstairs to the kitchen not finding a puddle of pee. The sooner I can get him out the door to do his business and give him his insulin, the better. So, rising in the morning is usually between 4:30 and 5am. Still, another reason I have always risen early is to write. I have always kept a diary since I was a teenager and kept it up in various ways, whether it be in nice, pretty,soft or hard bound books, both lined and unlined, as well as various spiral and composition notebooks. So, Morning Pages were written for years and years. Along the way, with certain people around me, for the protection of my privacy, and since my return to creating everyday, I have found myself incorporating both onto the same page. Writing lines on top of lines make it very difficult for anyone to read one's private thoughts, but also makes for interesting backgrounds for images on top. It also tickles me to see what I drew on a given day because what I drew or painted might very well be a representation of myself and what I was feeling on that morning. I have to be aware of the time in the morning. Actually, I have to be aware of the time all day long during the work week, because of what my job entails, but that's another story for another time. I sometimes change rooms where I write and then draw what I see around me. I started adding watercolor to my pages. I started adding one phrase, thought or word to the top of my page along with the date. I keep it simple. I guess this could be considered basic art journaling. I seem to be fixated on drawing faces. I wanted to make it my goal for this year, to be brave, to persevere. So, in doing this scribble, mad- pouring- out- of- words- on to- pages, even if it's writing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I can whine, complain, vent, I am getting "stuff" out of my system. I am confronting my fears, telling my inner critic (or someone else) to shut up, spill my guts, and curse if I want to. I can set my goals, dream my dreams, wish upon my stars and keep them hanging there. That I have found if I do not write in the morning I feel like something's missing,something's not quite right, does not surprise me. It's kind of the same feeling I get when I do not do something creative everyday. I feel not quite me, not quite fulfilled, not quite at peace. And goodness, gracious, we need more peace in this world as well as the need to feel peaceful. On another note, yesterday I got a another cool piece of mail art from Sherry in Illinois. Thank you, Sherry! This has turned out to be a long post. I hadn't intended to be so long winded. Perhaps I am in the words of my very young son, thinking,"But, Mama. I just can't help it. I have something to say." I hope you have a peaceful weekend. Thanks for stopping by.

2 comments:

  1. Sorry to read that you suffer from migraines. I've had them, only in recent years, but they are awful, so I feel for you on this and hope your med. you take really helps combat it. As I would hope your art helps. Really like your journal pages with the faces, very nice effect to them.

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  2. I can’t get past 4:30-5AM!!!! LOL

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